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Lesser known forms of shipping:
- Authorship – shipping a writer with their own OC
- Censorship – the ship that dare not speak its name
- Championship – shipping whoever’s left
- Courtship – shipping of legal practitioners
- Dictatorship – shipping of author-approved couples
- Flagship – shipping of sovereign nations
- Hardship – shipping two characters specifically because they cause each other to suffer
- Horsemanship – self-explanatory
- Internship – a ship that someone’s not getting paid enough for
- Membership – shipping of individual body parts
- Mothership – shipping a character as another character’s mother
- Ownership – shipping a character with their pet
- Partisanship – shipping of polearms (see also: bipartisanship)
- Partnership – shipping of FBI agents
- Readership – shipping a character with yourself
- Relationship – shipping based on mathematical proximity
- Rulership – shipping of units of measurement
- Showmanship – shipping of P T Barnum
- Spaceship – shipping of celestial bodies
- Township – shipping of communities
I feel both so played and also so educated.
Like, this is blatant tomfoolery, sir, and somewhat insulting to fandom… But I also respect this position and will use it to disappoint my friends’ faith in me. So, thanks!
I have personally encountered at least one apparently sincere example of every single entry on this list.
Okay, hang on, I’m pulling out my skepticism card. Showmanship is highly specific and feels like it should feel fake, but “The Greatest Showman” is a thing so that’s legit. Anyone who doubts Spaceship really needs to get on your level. But Partisanship/Bipartisanship? Really?
(Okay, the dateable polearms are a glaive and a war-scythe, respectively, so technically it’s not partisanship, but the pun only works with partisans.)
I thought partisanship is the shipping of revolutionarys?
No, that’s just musical theatre fandom.
More favourite tropes:
- Generally incompetent character revealed to be incredibly skilled at one very specific thing
- Supernatural entity that clearly has no need for money inexplicably owns and operates some sort of relatively mundane business
- Device or magic spell with narrow and impractical function coincidentally turns out to be exactly what’s needed
- Terrifying monster actually wants something totally innocuous
- Hilariously half-assed impersonation or disguise succeeds through inattention of intended victim
- World-shaking threat averted via booze
Exploring abandoned buildings
- Bring a flashlight.
- Bring an extra flashlight.
- Walk the perimeter. Locate all possible exits.
- Do not be deterred by barbed-wire, high walls, and locked doors. But be on the lookout for holes and tunnels leading to the building.
- Wear a mask, gloves, and ideally, a complete protection suit.
- Test your steps.
- Have a fully charged cellphone with you in case you get trapped.
- If the water is still working, leave immediately.
- Never shut the doors behind you.
- The old man sitting by the campfire is not real. The campfire is.
- Check if the campfire is built on concrete. If not, leave.
- Talk to the man if you want to find yourself.
- It is advised to bring a bottle of whiskey.
- Be careful not to break anything.
- If you hear a woman yell ’Don’t wake the baby!’, yell back ’You don’t wake the baby!’
- Avoid the man sitting in front of a trash can fire. He is real, the fire is not. It burns souls.
- Do not sit in the armchair.
- If a door you had opened is now closed, pray it was the wind.
- Some rooms might be more chilly than others. It is normal.
- If you get a message from a friend asking to hang out, do not reply.
- They are always watching.
- A creaking floor is a bad omen.
- The sudden breaking of windows is to be ignored.
- The building might not want you to leave.
- If there is music playing, it’s probably the wind carrying it from someplace else.
- There are cats. Many cats.
- The cats can protect you.
- Do not look through the windows.
- Do not take any pictures with flash. Some things are better left unseen.
- Leave some food for the cats.
More guides
actually true things though
I hate people who call me. I don’t have a phone so you can reach me, I have a phone so I can read fanfic on the bus.
Surviving a Desert
- Only move at dusk and dawn.
- Cover yourself. The sun is an old and angry thing.
- Try not to leave tracks.
- Not all that is visible is real.
- Not all that is real is visible.
- When you start hearing the voices of the dead, settle down and do not move. They will pass you by.
- Do not approach caravans.
- Dreams had in the desert are either prophetic or real. Decide wisely which to believe.
- There are no wolves here. You will hear them anyway.
- Never rest in the bottom of a dune valley.
- Do not speak to anything that has not proven itself to be human.
- When the sand shakes, run.
- Cover your mouth. The sand will coat your lungs.
- Seeing things in the day is not a problem. Seeing things at night should be.
- Never play the flute.
- Always carry a sack of sugar for hungry things.
- You are meat. Do not forget this fact.
- If there is something in your periphery, do not look at it. It wants you to.
- Dig yourself into the ground in a sandstorm. The wind will take you away.
- The flames are not real.
- The shadows are not real.
- Never close your tent flap all the way. It is impolite.
- Never let your lantern go out.
- The ancient have no love for the young.
- Do not drink water offered to you.
- Do not watch the dancers. They will trick you.
- There should be no clouds. If there are, move until they disappear.
- Travel alone. You will invariably lose your companions.
- Someone will cry out for help. Do not follow the voice.
- The murmurs of veiled ones are to be disregarded.